It’s Narcissist Friday!
“Todd is being unreasonable and will not agree with me on the color.” This great line is from today’s Dear Abby column which you can read here. The young woman wants a certain color for her wedding but her fiancé doesn’t like the color. She must have it, apparently. He refuses to wear it, apparently. This disagreement is, in the words of the bride-to-be, “a nightmare.”
Now, beyond the fact that this causes me to be quite concerned about the health of their upcoming marriage, I wonder what this says about our culture. Does a bride have the right to expect everything to be her way at her wedding? Should the groom give in and wear a color he hates so that she will be happy? You know, it wasn’t that long ago that regular people simply wouldn’t have had such problems. Weddings were about marriages and marriages were about being happy together in a relationship. But today, it seems, weddings are about the show.
I don’t like to say that we have a narcissistic society. That seems oxymoronic to me. Instead, I would say that we live in a society that caters to narcissists. We expect our desires to be fulfilled and quickly. I remember my mom shaking her head because my wife and I got a dryer when we were first married. She marveled that young people could have such things so early in their marriage. She, of course, had to wait several years and hung clothes on the line to dry. Today’s young people could hardly imagine such a thing. Our idea of hardship is waiting for the things we want rather than not getting them at all.
Narcissism is not good for society. Society needs people who see others and value them. Society needs people who can set aside their desires for greater good, when necessary. It is important that we continue to point out that narcissism is aberrant and unhealthy and undesirable. No one of us is the center.
What do you think?