Don’t Give In!

It’s Narcissist Friday!

Last week’s post, The Narcissist at Christmas, has been pretty popular.  I suppose I should have expected that.  Narcissists provide a special stress in their relationships, and perhaps more so at special times.

Christmas is in just a couple of days.  What are your expectations?  I am tempted to tell you to lower them, but some of you have them pretty low already.  So, this year, try something.  Try to find a way to enjoy the holiday in spite of your narcissist.  Do not allow him/her to ruin the positive message you hear in the Christmas story or the truth you know about those who love you.  You may not be able to do something you have wanted to do.  You may find that your hopes have been dashed.  You may give and not receive.  All kinds of things can happen.  But you are not destroyed or defeated.  You know that you are someone special to the Lord who loves you.

I do realize that not everyone who reads this is a Christian.  What I said is still true for you.  But maybe you will find that inner peace and strength as you remember that your narcissist is only one person in your life.  There are others who think you are respectable and good, perhaps even strong.  There are some who love you.

The narcissist does not define you.  He wants to make you a controlled and useful extension of his own life, but that’s not what you are.  She wants you to be what she needs at any given time, but you are a person and you have your needs and desires.  Just because the narcissist is wrapped up in himself does not mean you have to be wrapped up in him.

There is a message of love at Christmas.  Love undeserved and freely given.  Love that breaks through boundaries of anger and hate and greed.  Love that says you are worth a great price.  Grab onto that message, no matter what happens around you.  Hold onto the truth of that love.  I will be praying for you.

2 Comments

Filed under Narcissism

2 responses to “Don’t Give In!

  1. Kay

    This is true; so also is anyone walking in “flesh patterns”, using coping mechanisms to try to force their coping onto others, even
    children in the area. I don’t know of many narcs in my life, yet I am
    aware of others as I have spoken. I was one of the guilty ones and
    tho’ I was mostly ‘sweet’, sweet is not one of the fruit of the Spirit.
    I feel The Church has allowed the few to destroy God’s place in
    that manner….how about narc “pastors”, their wives/children, deacons, their families, teachers. Narcs, or copers, will push the limits of how you love the Lord. IF you can be pushed, then you need counseling in the kindest way, soon. I got the help The Church and I needed. In a real Church with resounding Christ, the narcs and/or
    copers stand out as poison. It was me; it could be anyone including
    a young person.

  2. Oh yes!!! Turkeys thrown on the floor, presents thrown in the garbage can or given back to the person!! Screaming fights about the past, how much they cost, how much trouble you are putting them through, the messes made, drinking and falling over the Xmas tree, knocking the tree down, kicking the tree, getting angry and tearing ornaments off the tree and throwing them at people. Oh the joy of Xmas!!!!!!!

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