It’s Narcissist Friday!
Last week’s post, The Narcissist at Christmas, has been pretty popular. I suppose I should have expected that. Narcissists provide a special stress in their relationships, and perhaps more so at special times.
Christmas is in just a couple of days. What are your expectations? I am tempted to tell you to lower them, but some of you have them pretty low already. So, this year, try something. Try to find a way to enjoy the holiday in spite of your narcissist. Do not allow him/her to ruin the positive message you hear in the Christmas story or the truth you know about those who love you. You may not be able to do something you have wanted to do. You may find that your hopes have been dashed. You may give and not receive. All kinds of things can happen. But you are not destroyed or defeated. You know that you are someone special to the Lord who loves you.
I do realize that not everyone who reads this is a Christian. What I said is still true for you. But maybe you will find that inner peace and strength as you remember that your narcissist is only one person in your life. There are others who think you are respectable and good, perhaps even strong. There are some who love you.
The narcissist does not define you. He wants to make you a controlled and useful extension of his own life, but that’s not what you are. She wants you to be what she needs at any given time, but you are a person and you have your needs and desires. Just because the narcissist is wrapped up in himself does not mean you have to be wrapped up in him.
There is a message of love at Christmas. Love undeserved and freely given. Love that breaks through boundaries of anger and hate and greed. Love that says you are worth a great price. Grab onto that message, no matter what happens around you. Hold onto the truth of that love. I will be praying for you.