It’s Narcissist Friday!
Why do I write about Narcissists? Well, as I have said before, I have some experience with them and I know how difficult it can be to have to deal with them on a regular basis. Those who are in relationship with narcissists, whether through marriage or family or work, know that these people can be very difficult. It helps to know that there are others struggling with people like this. It also helps to be able to state that the behavior and ideas of narcissists are hurtful, wrong, and abnormal.
But the main reason I have been writing is to help those who don’t realize that the person they are dealing with is narcissistic. I have tried to give some definitions and some of the more popular books so readers could learn. I have made myself available to answer questions and to give encouragement.
I was well into a counseling relationship with a narcissist before I understood what was happening to me. I was being manipulated and used by a master. My strength and emotions were being stretched to the breaking point. Everything about this person seemed reasonable—maybe a little more intense and needy than most, but there were some extenuating circumstances. When I understood that the circumstances were of his own making and I was just part of the game; and when I realized that I was being used in his attempt to make himself look good; and when I began to see how he was hurting the people in his life—then I became angry. And when I began to understand that I had met people like this before, that narcissism explained some other strange and difficult relationships in my life, I began to study.
It is my intent to continue to write about narcissism and narcissists. It’s Narcissist Friday seems to be working out well. The thought has gone through my mind that this part of my regular blog could spin off to something more, something that would stand alone. But it is very important that this topic remain connected to the message of grace and the love of God. Victims of narcissists feel so unloved, so unacceptable. They have been made to believe that they are responsible for the things that have happened to them. Some, in their anger against everything their narcissist represents, have left the church and their faith. I believe it is important to tell them the truth.
If you are or have been in a relationship with a narcissist and you feel drained of your self or confused, if you feel as though no one understands or will believe you, I want to offer hope. There is a God who loves you. It is He who is drawing your heart toward health. To Him you are valued, even precious. Don’t despair! The journey is not over.
Please feel free to write to me using the contact info on this page. If it doesn’t work for some reason, write me an email at dave at gracefortheheart dot org. I will pray for you and answer you.