What Internet?

We arrived in Minnesota for our summer and discovered that we have no internet.  Apparently Centurylink, our only real option, has a limited number of connections available and decided to give ours to someone else.  While that seems almost bizarre to us, how a company can consider itself an internet provider and not have connections available, it is a hard stop for us.  We continue to push, but they tell the same story over and over.

Now, not having internet in a place of fishing and hiking and outdoor beauty is certainly not a hardship in normal circumstances.  But the thing that allows us to be here for so long is the fact that I can continue my work while the family enjoys a great summer vacation.  So, with trips to the library (15 miles one way) and some time at the coffee shops, I hope to keep on schedule.  And we are praying for a miracle to influence Centurylink!

If the posts are a little less regular and I am even slower in responding to emails, please understand.

And I really want to thank those of you who jump in to encourage and welcome the new commenters.  Your kindness and love is so evident and so important!

I still have to approve comments from new commenters, btw, so it may take a couple of days for that to happen.  Nothing I can do about that except to relax commenting rules and, trust me, based on some of the recent things I have blocked, you don’t want me to do that.

Maybe things will change soon.  Pray with me!  Thanks!

14 Comments

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14 responses to “What Internet?

  1. Karen Field Carroll

    FWIW, CenturyLink has one of the worst reputations in the world. We have a t1 line through them at home (because I work from home full-time). Have you considered getting a Verizon wireless broadband card (and cancelling CL?) That would certainly give you more stability. Many blessings!
    Karen

  2. HDG

    Sending you a prayer and a hug Pastor Dave! Your work is much appreciated . I’m going to use the extra time when you aren’t “here”to read some posts I haven’t gotten to yet and re-read those that especially pertain to my current issues. Hope you and the family have a wonderful vacation!!

  3. Fellow Survivor

    Pastor Dave, your incite and wisdom is so valuable to all of us. But maybe Jesus is just saying, take a vacation and rest. We all know you deserve and maybe even need it.

    • Penny

      FS~good to “see” you! Have missed your comments and hope/pray that you & your daughter are well and blessed. Praying for you….

      • Fellow Survivor

        Hi Penny. I just haven’t felt like talking to much these days. My daughter has a battle ahead of her that she has no idea what it is going to be like. She is almost 18 so there is only so much I can do for her except to just be there for her like I was last Thursday. Typical SNP (Standard narc procedure) One big ol helping of pain which I will call dog doo and then one big ol helping of really fun stuff which I will call and Ice Cream Sunday.

        I will try to keep this short but remember there is an unlimited amount of money at play here. There is nothing that can’t be bought or supplied. We have three major players, the ex n, her super N dad, and my baby girl. My daughter is the target and the bait. She is the super N dad’s target and the bait when it comes to the ex n. I will continue in my next post.

      • Fellow Survivor

        To continue, last Thursday I call my daughter to exchange insurance cards. Within 2 seconds I could tell she was in tears. empaths can do that. I race home and there is pretty much a complete box of tissues, used of course, on the floor. I first think ” On no, did the boyfriend break up with her” ” Is she in a fight with her best friend” No to both. She cried on my should for 20 min before either one of us spoke.

        After determining that the problem was the mom, I asked her, ” did she use Fear, Obligation, or Guilt?” She said ” all three” Its hard to explain but I will do my best. The super N dad bought my ex n a brand new boat the day after our divorce. He also bought tickets for them to fly to california to look at colleges. Neither one of these things were requested by my daughter.

        So the super N dad is down at his lake house ” which he built for my ex n”. The ex n tells my daughter she has to go see him to “Validate” him. What the heck is that all about. My daughter does not want to go for many valid and reasonable reasons. Then the ex n tells her “he” bought that boat for you (a lie) and he bought the tickets to California for you (also a lie) so you have to go.

        My daughter is the bait because the super N dad would not buy tickets to California just for my ex n, but if my daughter was going then yes. The ex n, knows my daughter is the target and she uses her to get things from the super N dad. Trust me on this, I know its sick. I explained to my daughter why I would not let her accept a new car from the super N dad. If she is compelled to obey and comply because of gifts she did not ask for what the heck is going to happen if she accepts a gift as expensive as a brand new car.

        I am going to have a talk with my daughter when she gets back from CA. She posted a pick on facebook today titled ” living the hard life” with a picture of her at a 5 star hotel in Beverly Hills. NOT ACCEPTABLE, If there is one thing I have learned about Narcs is that evil is infectious. My ex n was not always the way she is now. Only after spending summers with the super N dad did she become infected.

        Fortunately for me, as soon as she gets home she will spend a week at Pine Cove Christian Camp. One gigantic JESUS booster shot that should bring her back to reality. I HOPE.

        These NARCS, they are bad actors. If they have money and power they are very dangerous. I would never bend to the super N dad’s will and only reflect back to him discussed and not fear. This is why I was cast out.

        At the end of our conversation when my daughter was crying, we both agreed we are both terrified of Her, the ex n. I personally have to break through that fear of her to become myself again. Almost there.

  4. Jennifer

    And thanks so much for moderating those comments and keeping this place safe for those who need it.

  5. Penny

    Amen to all comments here~you are so appreciated and I agree with FS–receive this CL “glitch” as a blessing!

  6. Penny

    FS~sad but not surprised at all the drama, & totally understand your silence. It’s truly a “liebensucker”. I also understand the N dad-N ex-target-bait-dance. If you feel like it, plz let your dtr know that I too am both target & obstacle in relation to my “primary” N , with countless episodes of attempts to buy me off., so I get it. I was only 20 when I married into the N family, and how I wish I knew then what I know now. But the good news is that your dtr DOES know! its powerful & overwhelimg at ANY age, but at least she knows, thx to you. You are amazingly astute to the FOG & the contagious evil (thank you, Anna V) & your dtr is blessed to have you. I am soooo very sorry for the pain inflicted on your her & on you–and in your silence I have been praying, b/c I just “knew”. Have you read “people of the lie”? It might be a good read for you simply to affirm that this IS evil, and that I believe is what makes it so exhausting: it is a spiritual battle for our very souls. I have been NC for over 2 years from my N, & it has been hard b/c the “reach” of an N is mind-boggling–the smears, the lies, the gossip, the character assassination, yet God has firmly shut my mouth to even speak to these so-called relatives. I just have nothing left to offer them, & I refuse to be “prostituted” (bought) like so much chattle. I will pray for your daughter to have an epiphany, a clarity, that can only come from God & that she will know it the difference between being exploited and being truly loved. Bless you my friend, you are doing the right thing, but it is o so painful. No need to respond just know I am praying.

  7. Fellow Survivor

    Penny, got to love that Anna V. For those of you new here is a link the Anna’s Blog. She is no longer posting but she is a fun read.
    http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2008/06/best-of-posts-on-narcissists-suck.html

    The reason I don’t post as often is 1) I don’t feel the need to as often like in the beginning and 2) I can go on and on and on.

    I don’t love the ex n anymore and actually only loved the “illusion” that I had created in my mind. I am now at the stage where I mourn and kick myself for letting it go on as long as it did when I have known for at least 8 years that the relationship was one sided and there was absolutely no sacrifice made by her on my behalf, ever.

    The part that is a bummer for me is I really want to have a girlfriend but I am still not “repaired” enough to be a fair partner for anyone. One thing I have learned is that when on a date I make sure and ask if she likes to talk about Jesus. If they get all squirmish then she is probably not the one for me. I made that mistake once already.

    • UnForsaken

      Fellow Survivor, I’m So glad you are coming to a place of healng. It is such an encouragement to hear – although we know that it is possible ! You are learning to know yourself and that is an Amazing victory. The good counsel you’ve received and healthy relationships you have, can be heard in your writting. Keep it up!

      Wishing you all the Best!!!

    • Penny

      Hmm..I wouldn’t call that a mistake, but rather, a victory. As Pastor Dave has said, we need to create boundaries, healthy boundaries, designed to protect us against the subtle erosion of our deepest held beliefs. So, I would call that a healthy boundary, a victory. In my own journey of separating front the toxicity of the N, I have found freedom in saying that I love Jesus, that I love His word, that I WANT to follow Him. The N would also say those things, but then behave as tho it was mere rhetoric. (As we know, the N does not give up the throne w/o a fight.) My N would then disparage any scripture I would cite, accusing me of being “religious” while denying that scripture the power to penetrate the heart–classic blame-shifting! Sounds evil to me: to deny the very word of God, while claiming to believe it. Dennis Prager often say that he cares less about your “faith” but more about your behavior. Behavior reveals faith! I also understand not needing to post as much, but I also know that I am ever in the crosshairs of the N, so I keep “checking in”. I know that I am weak, and I need the wisdom of this place. I also miss Repol, and Prodigal Katherine, having grown to love their wisdom, and your as well. Just today, my N reared her ugly head! Can you believe that?! Right on cue, too, b/c her own primary source, her pipeline, is failing….so she has to rattle other cages, disrupt lives, demand power and control, demanding access to my children. I have learned to say, “My kids, my rules”—and she gets to not like it. I will NOT expose my kids to the toxicity of the N, even if everybody else does. It’s harder for you, b/c it’s your ex. But you will find a way, and I will pray that you do. It will be worth it. Stay connected…

      • Fellow Survivor

        Penny, when I said ” I made that mistake once already” I meant falling in love with a non believer. Just to set the record straight, I have a wild side to me that is somewhat tamed. Having a kid will do that to ya. But I also enjoy talking about Jesus and scripture. The lessons and stories are timeless. Me and my kid can talk about Jesus all day long and not miss a beat in a non judgmental open and honest manner. Iron sharpens Iron so to speak. She can say ” I see this verse meaning this” and I can say ” I see the same verse meaning something different” Neither one of us is wrong we are just being taught a different lesson by the same words at that particular time in our lives. She always calls me a “self taught” believer in contrast to her classical training through her youth group teachers and camp counselors.
        The greatest complement she ever gave me was when she told me ” Dad, you don’t know it but you teach scripture all the time” I asked her what she meant and she said, ” Dad, we will just be talking about life, our days that day, or whatever and later on I will be reading my bible and, its right there, what you were telling me yesterday. You don’t quote scripture you just teach it.” That was a pretty cool thing to hear from my kid. Again, don’t mistake me for a “good christian” guy because I have made my share of mistakes, meaning acting and thinking contrary to God’s Word, and I continue to do so.

        Anyway, adjusting to a new way of thinking, meaning not focused on what the x wants, when that was my whole life for 25 years just takes time.

  8. Penny

    Ah–I get it; thx for clarifying. What an affirmation from your kid. wow. Hang on to that moment for sure. That is a huge blessing to you and for you and for our Father as well. I am reminded of the statement that “Jesus didn’t die to make good men (people) better, but to make dead men alive”. We ARE made alive in Him, and the sad thing about the N is that they never are. They live in the false reality, the fantasy, that they are alive, and it IS exciting to be around them until it destroys you–something Jesus never intended and railed against as with the Pharisees. When they (narcs) “claim” to know Christ but live like they don’t, it’s toxic from every angle, but especially to the faith. The confusion they bring is a red flag to run the other way, toward the Cross and away from the N. Sounds like you are running the right way!

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