Am I accepted?

It’s Monday Grace!

There was a time for most of us when it meant a great deal to be accepted into a group. When the group accepted us, we had value. That was important.

And it is still important. I doubt that we ever really grow out of the need to be accepted. We know ourselves through the eyes of others. They are the mirror that helps us understand who we are. To be accepted is to be acceptable, of worth. The old saying is that everyone needs to be somebody to somebody.

But this competitive and consuming world seems to do its best to put us down. We are used for what others can get and made to feel of little value. We are constantly told and shown that others don’t think like us and don’t really need us.

To feel unaccepted is to feel alone and worthless.

Now, I could go into a long exposition of Scripture to show how God has made us acceptable. He has reached into our broken lives to pull us to Himself and show us that we are accepted by Him. But I can do something even better. I can give you a new word for yourself.

You are more than accepted—you are chosen!

Look through the Bible sometime to see how often it speaks of God choosing His people. Those who come to Jesus for salvation are chosen. God wanted us. God did whatever it would take to save us.

I know that some people will almost instantly take this into the theological discussion and bring up things like predestination and election and blah-blah-blah. That misses the point. It really does. Look at the texts. When God speaks of choosing us, what is He saying? He is saying that He values us, He wants us. It isn’t that He doesn’t want others. Don’t let the beauty of the truth be lost in the mess of the debate. That’s a distraction. He wants you. He chose you.

Being chosen is far beyond being accepted. When we were young, and through much of our lives, we have felt that we were accepted almost begrudgingly, like the others had to take us in. Even being accepted didn’t settle the devaluing we felt in our hearts because we still thought we didn’t measure up. But being chosen, being wanted, that’s where the joy is found.

Jesus went to the cross to save you because He chose you. He suffered because He wanted you. You have great value in His heart.

Listen: it is good and right to live in the joy of being chosen by the Almighty God. Lift up your head and smile! It is not a matter of pride, but of truth. He loves you!

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He has made us accepted in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:3-6 (NKJV)

2 Comments

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2 responses to “Am I accepted?

  1. Z

    Thank you for this needed encouragement, Pastor Dave. The constant rejections, betrayals, abandonments, silence in the face of known evil being done to me…by “christians” for so long has done a real number on my “bearings” about who I am in Christ. While I KNOW in my head that I don’t NEED any other person to accept me-as long as I know God fully accepts me through Jesus. But sometimes my emotions wreak havoc on me. It’s HARD to live UNaccepted, unloved and isolated because I stood up to my family of abusers (No Contact) and in retaliation they have been successful in their mission of continuing to dupe everyone even more than they always have by their “act as good, godly saints” in public. While they were vicious monsters behind closed doors. With the help of my codependent, enmeshed and now also abusive siblings, their massive grooming, bribing, polishing, over-the-top flattering lips, smear campaigns…have done the job they set out to do. Alienate the willingly blind people who know better but don’t want to “cross the chief, most violent abuser”. Others I’ve known all my life who know my character and know the lack of character of the abusers don’t want to “get involved in family issues” yet they DO continue to associate with the known abusers while “ghosting” me. That’s the way it seems to go for Christian abuse victims who speak out about the abuse and especially those who hold the abusers criminally accountable when they break the law.
    I know Scripture says “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.” And that others interpret that to mean that a weapon may be FORMED but it will NOT PROSPER. But these wicked weapons HAVE PROSPERED! They’ve accomplished what they set out to do! Been successful in harming my health and mental well-being and in turning pretty much everyone I ever knew against me with their bribes, fake acts and lies. Their aim to help satan destroy me has seemed to work. My mental and physical health scars and the unhealthy social isolation that were unjustly, spitefully and wickedly imposed on me by their tactics HAVE worked. And there was no justice criminally for the violent attack on my husband and me. Police badly mishandled (NO investigation or search for the weapon used on us) the dreaded, unwanted DV call by just passing the buck to the court, which then merely slapped the attacker on the wrist. NO consequences for a bludgeoning, brutal, one-sides, preplanned weapon attack! How much injustice in life can a person take? I have been abused by them since I was a fetus! Right up to present day. And they’ve gotten away with it every time. It continues still (stresses of the smear campaign, lies, social isolation by continuing to turn anyone possible against me) despite strict No Contact being in place since the violent attack.
    I know the Lord will somehow take what was meant to harm me and DID harm me (like in Genesis, Joseph’s brothers DID harm him by 1st leaving him in the pit to die then selling him into slavery) and turn it into something for my GOOD. I’m depending on that! A “Joseph-like renewal”. But there’s no denying they DID their intended harm. And it is prospering them-everyone flocked to the wicked and turned their backs on the victims. They aren’t socially isolated or suffering scars from their evil. No. They have allies all around them in their wickedness. Few humans could stand up to the constant lifetime barrage of mental, verbal and even physical attacks I withstood, only barely. And the resulting C-PTSD, severe anxiety and the daily chronic stress-induced pain condition ARE very real remnants of that harm. Scars. Unwanted reminders when all I want to do is forget. (I am in absolute No Contact for my mental and physical protection from ALL of the players-including the allies of the abusers who added to my harm by their betrayals, indifference and silence about long-standing known evil done to a child of God.)
    And I know that the fact that I’m STILL STANDING is evidence that “God stood with me and gave me strength.” (2 Tim. 4:17) The wicked really wanted me to suicide or die from their unrelenting attacks. They still do.
    As the some inspiring words from the popular song “Scars” say, “Darkest waters and deepest pain…Looking back from the other side…I am thankful for the scars…Without them I wouldn’t know Your heart…Because my brokenness brought me to You…So I’m thankful for the scars.”
    I hope and pray to “get there”⬆️to thankfulness for the scars that torment me-fully and soon! I’m also thankful God knew I’d go through this abuse that I have faced all my life. He knew me before I was born. He felt the kicks I felt as a fetus in a pregnant belly. He grieved before I even could. He grieved and felt Holy Wrath when post-beatings I prayed to die as a child. He saw it ALL. He still does.
    He so kindly gave me a true “helpmate” in my life. A godly, loving, compassionate, supportive husband. He is everything they are not. (They abused him too from the minute they met him-an extension of their abuse of me-their “scapegoat” target.) If that’s all God sends me in my life on this earth in the form of people to walk beside me in this life of abuse I was born into-I am learning that it will be often be a hard and lonely life, but with Jesus beside me always, and my beloved husband, it will be enough. I don’t stress anymore over how to trust new people, making “new, true Christian friends” and a “family of choice” as the “support system” that most all abuse recovery plans claim are ESSENTIAL to recovery. No. I ask God to decide IF and when and who HE DECIDES AND WILLS to be in my life. And if His answer is “no one else”, then so be it. He’s given me Jesus!! And the promise of eternity with Him! And a husband to walk this earth with! And the promise that He will right ALL the wrongs done to me. Psalm 73 talks about the “prospering of the wicked.” Verses 17-18 say: “Then I discerned their final destiny…You cast them down to ruin.” And Verses 23-24 say: “You always hold me by my right hand…and afterward You will TAKE ME INTO GLORY.” Forevermore!!
    I’m learning that I’m pretty blessed.
    But prayers from this wonderful community are still appreciated. For the scars to fade. Thank you all.

  2. Steve Adams

    Thanks for the reminder, Dave!!!

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