It’s Narcissist Friday!
We live in a world filled with love songs. Some of them share the wonder and beauty of reciprocated love. Some of them share the pain of separation. Some of them try to move us to fill our hearts with special relationships. But those who are alone find these songs hard.
We live in a world that almost worships romantic love. Movies, books, television, radio, besides nearly every facet of the internet. They all promote romance as the most important relationship. From the youngest ages, children are encouraged to think of relationships that go beyond just friends.
There is much wrong with this, but perhaps the most harmful thing is to make those who are single to feel as though they are somehow less than others. When you begin to feel like you are missing out, that you are not desirable enough, or find yourself longing for something you think you should have, be careful. That’s when the abusers come to take advantage of you.
Narcissists and other abusers are predators. They look for people who don’t feel good about themselves. That’s why it is so important for you to love yourself and accept yourself. But they also take advantage of your loneliness. They will offer to give you love, but they will just use you to satisfy their own desires. They know nothing of love and don’t care how they hurt you to get what they want.
Everyone has a built-in need for relationship. From the very beginning, God said that it is not good for us to be alone. Community, love, camaraderie: these are important to our health. We need others.
It may be that you will find and enjoy a special and very long relationship with someone who will love you and support you. Someone with whom you can walk through life. That is a good thing. But it is not for everyone. Some will not get married or will spend years without that kind of companionship and love.
That does not mean you will be alone.
There is One who is always with you and who fully loves you. You can learn to walk in His presence and enjoy His embrace. You can talk with Him and listen to Him. You can learn to fill your life with His love. And that one love is enough.
Focus on that one love. Build it, cultivate it, enjoy it. Never think that it is anything less than the most real love of all. In fact, never think that any other love will compare. That one love is your life, now and forever.
Some people will go through their whole lives satisfied and filled with this one love. Just them and Jesus. It will be enough. It may be that Jesus will lead you to another, and that “three-fold cord will not be quickly broken.” But the most special love you share with another can never be as deep or full as that one love with the Savior. His life flows in you, and it always will. From that love all other loves must flow.
One love is enough. Never let the romantic love the world promotes be the goal of your life. Never feel that you are less if you don’t find that. If you do, that will be a good thing. If you don’t, the one love will make you whole and fulfilled.
“I am my beloved’s, and he is mine.”
Song of Songs 6:3