It’s Narcissist Friday!
(A reminder: I am writing these posts as messages for my grandchildren. I would want them to understand how narcissists and others deceive and entrap people. My prayer is that they would be secure enough in their relationship with the Lord and in who He has made them to be that these abusers would find no opportunity to damage their hearts. And, of course, that’s my prayer for anyone who reads this.)
One of the best ways to make yourself feel bad is to enter into comparisons. You win when you realize you don’t have to.
God made us all different. We are different sizes and shapes. We have different ways of thinking. We have different skill sets and different knowledge. We have lived different backgrounds, and life has affected us differently. We respond to pain and pleasure differently.
And because we are different, we can’t begin to compare with each other.
Listen: you always lose when you compare yourself with others. Even when you think you come out ahead in the measurements, you still lose because you open yourself to the whole game of comparisons. As soon as you find someone you think is less than you, you will also find someone who is more than you. No one wins the game.
Well, no one except narcissists and other abusers. When you begin to feel bad about yourself, they swoop in with their flattery and lies to bind you to them. You love to hear them speak nice things about you. You wish they would say more. You already feel bad about yourself, so they know just what to say. Then they also know how to hurt you. And they will.
When you are content with yourself, you have no need and no interest in comparing with others. Comparisons reveal a weakness in you. When you look at someone else and feel less (or more), you reduce who you are to that particular comparison. You also reduce the other person to that point of comparison. But you are so much more!
If God says that you are the “pearl of great price,” and He does, then you are already beyond comparison. Be content in His estimation of you. You don’t have to be more to satisfy Him.
It is interesting that He ties contentment to His presence. Don’t look at what others have or how they look or what they can do, be content in the blessings you have to enjoy, because Jesus is with you every moment of every day. Let His presence be enough to bring you joy. Give Him thanks for your life right now.
Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
Beware of any system, spiritual or otherwise, that calls you to get ahead by comparing yourself with others. Reject that system outright. You don’t need to hurt yourself or others to get ahead. You cannot become more spiritual by putting others down, nor are you less spiritual when they put you down.
When you face a comparison, just smile and give thanks for the love of Jesus. Truly, in Him you have it all.