It’s Narcissist Friday!
What do you have left when you have given it all? What is left for you? How will you rebuild?
There are people who would joyfully take everything you have and leave you with nothing. They think they have the right to do this. They don’t see you as a person, and they simply don’t care.
It might be a coach. It might be a boss. It might be a politician. It might be a pastor or a community worker. It might be a spouse or a parent. To them, you are something to be used and discarded. They have goals and dreams and battles. They need what you bring. They need it all.
When the boss says you should stay late without extra pay because you are an important part of the team and he needs people who give 100%, you are being used. When the politician asks you to spend your energy and time and money to support his cause, you are being used. These people want to look good, and they are quite willing to try at your expense.
So, I caution you: never give 100% to anyone or anything—other than Jesus. And you know that I mean Him personally, not the church or the pastor or the important cause. Do what He calls you to do, but beware those who claim to call you in His name. Yes, there are users in the church.
Otherwise, always reserve something for yourself. It isn’t just that you deserve it. It’s that you need to hold something in reserve, something that will help you when the users walk away. If your work takes it all, what is your life? They can find another employee, but what is left for you?
Keep your real life, the one that holds your secrets and brings you joy, separate from those who want everything. Even if that is a spouse. Have a quiet place in your heart, in your day, and in your space. Have something that is just yours.
What does this look like in practice? Don’t always go home exhausted. Save a little energy so you can enjoy the rest of the day, And make sure there is a “rest of the day.” Don’t spend your life at work. Have a hobby or make some friends or cultivate a calming and building routine. Take walks, spend a little money on yourself, rest.
There is only one reason you can feel free to give 100% to Jesus. That’s because He gives it back to you. It all comes from Him. Your time with Him builds you and restores you. He blesses you with His presence, and you are filled and rested. No one else can give what He can. He said that His burden was easy and light. If you feel otherwise, you are probably not giving your offering to Him. Someone or something else is taking it.
So, if you feel like someone is expecting 100% from you, willing to leave you with nothing, walk away. Either that or shake your head and hold something back for yourself.
You are worth protecting and maintaining. You have a great deal to offer the people around you, but only if you don’t give any of them 100%.