It’s Narcissist Friday!
The other day I heard someone suggest that it might be hard for us to find things to be thankful about in these challenging times. While I understand that people are stressed, I cannot look at my life without being thankful. There is so much that makes me grateful.
It is important for us to cultivate an attitude of thankfulness. I know that you hear that all the time. But such an attitude, remembering to be grateful to God and to the people around you, will offer protection against the manipulations of those who would hurt you.
You see, narcissists and other abusers are not known for their sense of gratitude. Instead, they think they deserve whatever they get. They also think they should get more. They become angry when they see what others have. They believe they should be privileged and entitled.
And this is what they want to cultivate in others. If they can make you feel like you are being neglected, you might find refuge in sharing your feelings with them. The more they can get you to focus on the things that are lacking in your life, the more they can use those feelings to manipulate you.
For example, the narcissist boyfriend may encourage a young lady to complain about her parents. He will want her to focus on the restrictions, the unreasonable expectations, the abusive words and actions, and whatever he can discover or create for her to think about. Then he will offer attention and affection and everything she says she isn’t getting at home. He works to develop an ungrateful heart so that he can convince her to be grateful to him. Thus, she is bound to him and separated from her family.
These tactics are so common among abusers that we hardly think about countering them. The way to protect yourself is to be thankful. The old song tells us to “count” our blessings, to remember what the Lord has done for us.
The abuser will not help his/her victim to be thankful. He will not remind the young lady of how God has blessed her in her home. He will not help her to see the goodness and protection of God in her life. The abuser will do just the opposite.
And, when the narcissist has succeeded in separating her from her parents and support people, he will demand gratitude for every little thing he does for her. In fact, he will demand credit and gratitude for any good in her life. He wants to be her god to whom she should give both thankfulness and service.
So, be thankful. Stop often to say thanks to the Lord for His kindness. Even when life is hard, make yourself look for the good things. Thank others freely. Be generous with your gratitude.
Your thankfulness will help to protect you from the bitterness of the narcissist. It will also reduce the effectiveness of the evil one’s whispers in your heart. And, it will help your days to go well.
I am still excited!
We have a temporary fix for those who would like to receive books directly from us without going through Amazon. It’s simple. Just make a donation and let me know that you want a book. The donation button is just under my picture on the right side of the page. That will take you to Paypal, where you can make a donation of any size. Several give regularly through Paypal, and it works well. After you make your donation, send me a note at: dave(at)gracefortheheart.org. If you want an ebook, I will send you a file by email. If you want a paperback, I will send one to the address you give me.
In order for this to work, I would ask for the following donation levels:
$5.00 donation – I will send an ebook file of the Jesus Loves Me book in both pdf and epub
10.00 donation – your choice of ebook or a paperback of the Jesus Loves Me book
Of course, you are welcome to make a larger donation. These days that would be greatly appreciated. For anything larger than $10, I’d be happy to send you both the ebook and the paperback. (Those of you who already use Paypal to donate to this ministry, please drop me a note and I will send you your choice or both.) If you want multiple copies of the paperback, please send me a note, and we can work something out.
These prices will seem higher than Amazon to those who have Prime (and have already paid shipping costs), but they will be comparable for those who must pay shipping. The ebook will be less on Amazon, but they will only send a Kindle version. You should be able to read the pdf or epub on almost any tablet or phone.
Also, I have only 10 of the paperbacks available right now. More are on their way. Be patient. If I run out, it will take a bit to replenish my supply.
So, two steps:
- Make a donation using the button on the right side of the blog post.
- Send me an email telling me you did that and what you would like me to send.
I’ll do my best to keep on top of this and get your books out quickly. If this works well, I may begin to offer my other books this way as well. We are in the process of reworking the GFTH website with a simple store. I’m looking forward to that.
And, for those of you who still use Amazon, just click on the book cover to use the link.
Special note for those who have read all this way: I just published a book on the Revelation! It is on Amazon. If you are interested in a grace-filled perspective on the last book of the Bible, one without charts and timelines, you should check this out. I will just give a clue here: the title of John’s work is “The Revelation of Jesus Christ.”