It’s Narcissist Friday!
Over the past few months, I have been connecting narcissism with a greater evil through the idea of dragons. The Scripture calls the devil the “great dragon.” Satan is the personification of evil. Doctrinally, it is important to remember that Satan is not the author of evil. Rather, he is the great narcissist, the one whose ambition and need for affirmation lead him to abuse and destroy the people of God.
There is much about the evil one that we do not understand. The source of his rage, the extent of his power, the end of his influence—these are things that are not clear to us in Scripture. Perhaps that mystery makes him even more frightening.
What we do know is that he hates the Lord and the things of the Lord. He hates us, apparently because the Lord loves us. He seeks to destroy us in some attempt to challenge and dishonor God.
And we also know that the evil that dwells in the heart of the devil looks a lot like the evil that dwells in the hearts of humans who seek only their own benefit and are willing to use others to achieve it. It is not that these people are directly connected to the devil, but that they exhibit the same characteristics. They partake of the same evil.
For example: We have talked about how narcissists are predators, seeking people they can use to build themselves up. The devil, according to the Bible, “prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour.” We have talked about how narcissists so joyfully become tormentors. Jesus told Peter that Satan had asked God for him “that he might sift you like wheat.” We have talked about how easily and willingly narcissists lie. Jesus called the devil “a liar and the father of lies.” We have talked about how deceptively attractive narcissists can be, especially when we first meet them. Jesus said that Satan disguises himself “as an angel of light.” I could go on with many such examples.
Evil is evil. When the heart is turned inward, it is turned against the Lord and against others. When a person (whether a regular human or some strange celestial being) begins to lift himself (or herself) up in a way that puts others down, that person is engaging in evil. The idea of evil may not be politically correct these days, and we may not like to talk about it, but we know it when it hurts us.
Of course, evil is far easier to recognize in others. But the fact that we can see it in others suggests that we have to accept its reality. There is such a thing as evil, and it hurts people. When we do evil things, we hurt others. When others do evil things, they might hurt us or people we care about. When anyone serves only themselves, evil is locked into their hearts. Genesis gives us the story of the flood, and we are told that the wickedness of humanity was great and that “every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” I take that to mean that the people were blind to anything but themselves, narcissistic if you will.
In the past, I have been challenged when I refer to narcissists as evil. I understand. So, I try to limit what I say to the idea that narcissism is evil, and some people allow themselves to be defined by it. When many of us were young, we were taught to be nice and not say mean things about others. No matter what the others did to us, we were supposed to be nice. Now, after living many years, we understand that someone should have told us that evil was out there, and some people would use it to hurt us. For some, the people who taught them about life were the same people who used evil to hurt them.
Getting out of a narcissistic relationship does not mean all evil will disappear from our path. There are others who share in the same evils we have escaped. It is wise to be prepared as we walk the new path. That’s what we have been considering for the last few months.
And we must always remember that evil has limitations. It can be overcome, by good according to the Scriptures. So, do good. Love, kindness, generosity—these things overcome evil. The day will come when evil will be washed away from our hearts and from our world. The promise is that good will flow and good alone. There is hope.
That hope, as always, is in Jesus. He is the One who walks with us day by day through all our struggles. We find our peace and our hope in Him.
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33
The dragon has already been defeated.
Grace for my Heart 
I was raised in a small town by beautiful people who would have never hurt anyone. Although I was very protected, I wasn’t taught about evil. Evil didn’t come to us. Thus, I did not teach my own 3 children about evil. So when our family was destroyed by the unimaginable, we were surprised and unprepared. “Someone should have told us” as you said. I should have told my children. You have such wisdom. Did you learn from hardship? Counseling? Thank you for another great article. Yes goodness wins, God wins.
Wow, Why God put this communication in front of me, I’m not sure, but I felt real strong to respond. With all due respect.
Narcissism is a condition in degrees. If we look at a scale of 1 to 10, one is a person with absolutely no self-esteem and 10 being a person who eats babies for breakfast. (What an exaggeration!). It really means the person is only concern with themselves, there’s no concern for the wellness of others, their feeling, needs, etc., etc. I had to learn this to function in a narcissistic world.
Important: God is love and it’s that love that created all things. It is our perspective that defines good or evil. [A seed must die to grow a tree.] Jesus told us we will have tribulations. Through the scripture we learn that these tribulations are constantly refining us, again, our perspective. Who’s greater, our God or the problem? Each one of us, no matter at what level of the narcissistic scale we fall into, is a creation of God, special, unique, and important to HIM; with a purpose. Since he will not take away our free-will, we can choose to ignore him, but he never ignores us. Hate is the absence of God is someone’s heart, by choice; sad. Peace doesn’t stop war, for each person has their own perspective of what peace is. Harmony stops war; when we learn not to impose our perspective on others, we promote and contribute toward peace.
Our great commission to distribute the word of God, the Verb, we are giving, seeds and pebbles to throw, it is the Holy Spirit that will make them grow and/or ripple. We live for His Glory and Honor. As for others, we observe, filter the information with the Word of God, and choose whether we will help us to grow or just step out of the way. Remember God is always in control, whether we see it or not. Many blessings to you and yours.
Your work is a gift. This series on the dragon is good. I believe it was mentioned when it began that it may be compiled to a book format. That would be great. As I have studied narcissism, related to what has happened in my own experiences with covert aggressive types; I have been saddened, grieve the sadness, and do my best to move in a positive direction. Seeing and living the present blessings provided. Most importantly, the relationship with Jesus. The scripture and help from scripture that is presented on this website is fundamental to healing the heart and protecting the soul. Remembering that Jesus has already won this battle for us. When I was researching the manipulation that happened to me over the course of 20 years, it came to the discovery of narcissm. It also brought up other trauma and abuse incidences in my life that had/have been based out of narcissm, sociopathy, and other manipulative causes. Also, what would even be viewed as common friendships that tend to be one sided and not healthy. As I read through many articles and posts from a psychological view, I had a personal sense from the beginning that I needed to look toward scripture to heal. After all, God had been with me all along as I experienced abuses and manipulations through life. There are really great resources to help us. Pastor, this blog has been unique living water to offer healing nourishment through the walk.
Excellent message! As I read this, it reminds me of the scripture verse … “Behold, I am sending you as sheep among the wolves (dragons), so be wise as serpents and gentle as doves” Matt. 10:16
When I realized that I had escaped a narc mother only to be many years with a narc husband, your article confirmed that we may not be able to completely get away from narcissistic people in our lifetime. What I DO see is a need to exercise our boundaries (amazing to discover I’m allowed to have boundaries) and have a balance of guarding our hearts without completely locking it (out of fear) in order to still love others. Always having to defend and protect yourself can cause us to become hard and defensive, preventing us from the joy of giving and receiving love.
I’m also grateful for this blog that is not only transparent in discussing the reality of narcissism but also connects us to the truth of how God’s word applies to our life situation. Narcissism is real and it is evil! It seems that the only people who truly understand this behavior are people who have suffered through it. However, I see myself not as a victim but as a victorious survivor (in Christ Jesus!)!